30 somethings PSA

There are times in life where you need to know the truth. Unfortunately, I think it’s time for a little public service announcement. This is going to hurt a few of you, but because the girly loves you I must tell you. So prepare yourself. It may change the way you look at everything. I hope you understand I must do this. Here goes…30 IS NOT THE NEW 20. Wait don’t pass out. I know, I know you thought you would be able to wear those short shorts and stay up late and still look refreshed because somehow turning 30 meant you were 20 in your head, but you’re really 30 and oh my goodness you look a mess. I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you but you need to take yourself to bed; don’t you have to work in the morning? Yes guys and gals you have hit the mark of the big 3-0 (and beyond). I know you think by some stretch of the imagination you can go back in time and make life different by giving yourself 10 extra years. We hear it every day. They say, “ Yes, girl, you look good for 30, you know 30 is the new 20?” And to our poor guys, “Yeah fellas, 30 ain’t nothing, lets hit these streets, don’t you know it’s the new 20?” They have gone as far as…wait who is “they”? Ever notice people say that when they never heard a specific person say something? I digress. “They” have gone as far as say 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30 and so on. Makes me wonder; is death is the new 80?

Why do we want to be something we aren’t? Listen 30-somethings, you must band together and unite before it’s too late! We have lived and learned thru those 20 somethings and made all the mistakes some 20 somethings make. Let’s “turn down”. For what, you say? Because you’re older. Yep, I said it. Chill mode time has come. Why go back and act like a 20 year old when you know with your grown self that you need to pull yourself up by the boot straps and be an adult?

Just to help soften the blow, I have compiled a list of 5 not so scientific reasons to prove to you that 30 is not the new 20 and you are actually 30 years old, say it with me “thiiiirty”. Good job. Just except it and be happy.

#1 You can’t eat fries at 2 am anymore without heartburn or it sticking to your thighs the next morning.
#2 You start referring to rude 20 somethings as young punks.
#3 You start to think it’s not cute anymore to live off mommy and daddy’s money.
#4 When someone says “yes mam/sir” you actually appreciate it.
#5 It’s Friday at 9:30 pm and you are in your jammies (pajamas) and actually nodding off.

Simply stated 30 is not the new 20. It’s ok, everyone will have to deal with it someday. So embrace your 30’s don’t act as if it is a curse to get older. Be thankful you have had that many years on earth. Love your tiny laugh lines, it means you have seen a lot of happy days. Love that strand of grey hair you have, it makes you look distinguished. Love the little stubborn pudge you can’t seem to work off no matter how many crunches you do, it means you’re blessed to have food everyday… or you’re still eating fries at 2 am. 🙂

No 20 somethings were harmed in the making of this post 🙂

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Beaten and Snatched?!?!

I just got beat.
Oh my gosh, have you called the police already? 
Huh? No. I got beat by the girl at the make up counter.
Whaaaa? Why is the girl at the make up counter beating you.
Doesn’t my face look fabulous? I am beat and oh ain’t I snatched.
Wait honey you  got beat and snatched and you are happy about it?Ok, I may get a few eye rolls on this one, but you’ll still love me. Lately this “slang” stuff is getting way out of hand. And I know you are saying oh it’s not that serious, it’s just slang and lighten up. Trust me, I like a good slang word or phrase just like the next person. For example, everyones favorite, “turn up!!”, “giving me life”, “you tried it” or “yaaaaassssss hunty”. They are all hilarious and can instantly conjure up a smile. BUT our words have power and I don’t think many people realize that. Ladies listen to how this sounds BEAT and SNATCHED. Say it to yourself BEAT AND SNATCHED. BEAT AND SNATCHED.  BEAT AND SNATCHED. What picture comes up in your head when you hear those words? Nothing? Well, all I can see is a crying woman running for the door, fleeing her abuser, grabbing the door knob and him grabbing her arm and snatching her back to continue to “beat her to the gods”. That’s another one that we need to stop saying.  Who wants to refer to themselves as being beaten as an synonym for your face being full of beautiful make up and having a nice shape? Do you know that, according to The State (South Carolina’s State Newspaper), South Carolina is rated second worst in the nation in women killed by men. That’s a lot of beating and snatching right? The fact that women actually have to cover their bruises with make up and hide behind fake smiles after they have been “beaten and snatched” is more of a reason to bury those terms. In the bible … Wait I know someone is saying, “Is she really about to throw a scripture on us?” Yaaaaassssss hunty, I am because the Girly loves God ;). Anywho, the bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue. Always choose to speak life. There will be a wake for the slang term “beat and snatched” at 5pm. After that they will be buried in the slang term cemetary on Never Use Again Road, no repass will follow.