King be.

All I need you to understand is that I have a past I am not so proud of. That I will make mistakes and I cry …a lot. Even when I’m happy. Hopefully you will see more happy tears than sad, tired, jealous painful ones. Hopefully I am on the right path to becoming what you have always wanted, but mostly what you need. I will not expect you to read my mind, most of the time. If I have an issue with something you did, I’ll tell you. I will respect your opinion and hope you will respect mine too.

Hopefully you will be able to accept the parts of me that aren’t so pretty. Those are the ones you may not find out about until we’re about a year in. Not just physical flaws but those character flaws. For example like how I can be a little stubborn and shut down when I am angry. Or sometimes when anxiety kicks in and I can’t really articulate what’s wrong. When I complain, it will only be for a moment and most likely due to me just seeking your attention. When I yell it will be because I am really passionate about the point I am trying to explain . When I am wrong and sometimes even when I am right, I will look into your eyes and apologize. We will kiss and makeup.

I hate arguing, that won’t happen often.

When you come home I hope you are happy to see me and the little one, ones or one two and three. I hope I can make your favorite meal, I promise to give it a shot. I’ll try to make our meals balanced with somewhat of the correct amount of protein and vegetables, but I won’t forget dessert if that’s what you want. If you want to, we can go for a little family walk after dinner. I’ll ask you to have monthly maybe even weekly finance meetings with me. Then we’ll meet about the kids and I won’t forget about us. Kids won’t consume us. I’ll be the best mommy I can if that’s in Gods plan but I will try not to forget to be a wife. I’m not afraid of the word submit as long as you give me something to submit to.

I’ll try to remember that you like to be complimented and that you like to be catered to as well.

Until God aligns our paths perfectly King just be. Be yourself. Work towards your goals. Don’t try to impress anyone with anything. Let everything you do reflect your truest highest form of you. One day we’ll meet. Love, your Queen.

If I remember correctly I wrote this before I started dating my now husband. We will celebrate our first wedding anniversary October 30th. He’s truly a King in my eyes. Writing to my future husband made me take a look at myself and realize it would take a special person to love and accept all of me. I also had to be willing to love and accept another persons so called imperfections because I had so many of my own.

I hope that whoever is reading this is currently or will soon experience true love and total acceptance. It’s truly a beautiful blessing.

I lost my voice.

I lost my voice. My voice of reason is no longer a few steps down the hall. Now I must be intentional on hearing the voice. I must reach out, schedule lunches, send cards and funny memes to make sure she knows that I am still here. I am so proud of the voice, proud of her for stepping out on faith. It’s so like her. Never moved by emotions, but carefully thought out plans and faith.

In losing one voice, I have found my own. Although the voice is still a loud resounding force in my life, I now need to listen to my voice. Listening to this inner voice is probably the most pivotal thing I can do in my life right now. And when I doubt myself, that other voice is there to give me a little push. Thank God for the voices of reason He puts in your life. Don’t take them for granted. Listen, learn and grow.

Beautifully Budgeted

When people hear the word “budget” some folks act like you pushed an old lady off her cane! It’s a bad word and most assume it means you don’t have money to do anything and you are living in poverty. It’s pretty much the opposite. Budgets allow you to do most things you enjoy while also being a financially responsible adult. As Dave Ramsey once said, “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went”.

That was always my thing. It just irritated the stew out of me when I would have $300.00 and in a weekend it would get up and walk off and I’m left posting “money missing” signs on trees. Like where did it go? For the most part, I was decent at managing money. But for the for the past few years, I have been in a place where I have become more intentional about my money and building wealth for myself and those who will come behind me. By the end of 2019, the only debt I will have, is my home and a student loan. I don’t use credit cards or owe for anything other than household bills. I began contributing more to my “just in case account” or what some would call an emergency account, to my savings, and 401K. Yes, I still take vacations and occasionally splurge on things I really want. Now I just do it a little more purposefully.

Here let me show you. I make a small budget every other week for the money I take in. I count all sources of income: my regular paycheck from my 9-5 employment, any goods I create and sell, writing gigs, and any services rendered through my event or organizing businesses (Kimberly Elaine LLC) and any other income sources. Then I make my list. It’s so important to write things down. I know, I know you keep it in your phone, but there is nothing like pen to paper. For the sake of this example, let’s just go to my regular 9-5 pay which I use for my household bills. Ok, so back to my list. Write down every bill you have to pay with that amount of money. If it’s due before you are paid again it goes on the list. If you have any charitable giving you do, like tithing or any other charitable contributions, write that down also. Your list should also include how much you plan to place in your “just in case/emergency” account and savings. Savings should be totally separate. Emergency money and savings are two different things! I pay myself also. I typically give myself at least $100.00 for my “fun money”. So if I see a cool journal or sweater I want, I use that “fun money”. It’s like limiting yourself but not limiting because you can spend it on whatever you want. Then I have “grocery money/dining out” and “household” money; I do those every time. I typically also budget in fuel, but that varies on where I HAVE to go. If there is another expense I know is coming, say an oil change, I will adjust the household budget since it includes car care.

It’s pretty simple and keeps you from overspending. It also helps with discipline and figuring out what’s important to you. Do you reeeeally need that 14th pair of boots? Or the latest designer handbag? You may just want it and hey that’s fine too. Just remember to save up for it. By the time you save your spending money to get it, you may realize you can live without it. The biggest thing is that budgets help you to become a good steward over what you have now so you can be responsible with what you get later and hit those financial goals! What? No financial goals?! Well we are going to need another blog for that one. Recently, I was reminded of how my father used to say, “You can’t go all the time” simple words that I have learned to live by. I can’t go (or spend) all the time, not because I am broke, but because I am beautifully budgeted.

If you would like more help on budgeting, a sample template and setting attainable financial goals, feel free to email me at I’d be happy to help!


Why write children’s books with no children?

This is the “bio” from the back of my first book. It explains a part of my writing journey. Enjoy!

Author Kimberly E. Smith, has always been a writer of sorts. Her first journal
was given to her by her father with the advice that she could use it to write
about how much she loved him. That was the spark. Throughout her life she
would often retreat to a quiet place and scribble in her many journals detailing
the days, her dreams and aspirations. Although writing was an enormous outlet
for her, she did not share her love for writing with many people until later in
life. Kimberly has contributed to blogs, online magazines and newsletters
through-out her career as a writer and has a blog of her own called “Girly
Squeal”, where she writes about a wide range of topics. She has recently even
shared some of her poetic side on her blog. Although called “Girly Squeal” this
blog allowed Kimberly a chance to showcase her opinions on more adult topics.
Kimberly took a break from writing in the summer of 2014 to become a foster
parent. Over a year later while caring for her second foster child she began to
learn the importance of starting children off early with good habits, especially
reading. She has always believed children are never too young to learn the
importance of caring for their mind, body and spirit. After caring for two
sweet foster children, Kimberly decided that she wanted to come up with a
way she could give to all little children. That’s when the “Little People Read”
Collection was born. “Sleepy Baby Squirm” was accidentally created from a lullaby
Kimberly made up one night while holding her one month old foster child,
“Sweet Pea”. Shortly thereafter, she turned her lullaby into a bedtime story.
Although there are several books in the collection that focus on helping
children develop good habits and skills, bedtime is often the most needed and
most difficult thing for children to get accustom to. Therefore, Kimberly felt
Sleepy Baby Squirm, would be the perfect first book in the
“Little People Read Collection”.

Old Rugged Tire

True Story. Sometime in April 2018, I needed a tire.To be honest I needed one before that, but I did not feel like the wheeling and dealing at the dealership, nor did I want to go to a tire store to face more unnecessary aggravation. I didn’t really need a tire to go on my car at the time, just one to replace the spare I recently used. When I purchased my car a few years ago it came with a full size spare so I try to keep that in there. Anyway, back to the story. I went to see my parents this particular weekend in April and although I am a full grown adult, my parents tend to worry about me. I guess parenting never stops. I mentioned I needed a spare tire and of course my mommy is looking at me two kinds of crazy for traveling to their house with out one. I asked my daddy would he mind taking my car and purchasing a tire for me, remember baby girl did not feel like the aggravation. So, I pull out my money for the tire and some gas, he may as well fill it up since has the car right? I tuck the cash in an envelope with a note, “one tire and the rest gas thank you!” I place it on the kitchen table right next to my keys so daddy can see everything in the morning. Of course as he walks out the next morning without the envelope (on purpose) and refuses to take it after I try to chase him with it. An hour or two later daddy returns and says to me, “your tire is in your trunk under the mat where the spare goes and I filled your tank.” I thanked him, offered to pay him once again again and was rejected of course.

It’s been over two months and I never checked to see if that tire was where it was supposed to be. I just trusted that it was. Daddy said he had done what I asked him to do. I had faith that when I need that tire, it will be just where my daddy said it was, ready to be used.

This is the kind of faith our heavenly Father wants us to have in Him. Though we can’t see Him or how He is working out a situation we must believe He is there. We have to have faith that whatever we need whenever we need it will already be in place. Father’s Day just passed and I was thankful as I am every day, that I have an earthly father I can have faith in. I have faith that he loves me, will always be there to help and guide me even though he’s already raised me. I still go to him for advice and wisdom. I will never stop learning from him. He has done a substantial amount for me growing up and as an adult and if he could give me the world he wouldn’t. Wait what did she say? I know that’s what you were thinking. Although my daddy has given me more than I could ever ask for he wouldn’t give me every single thing. Instead he taught me how to get it myself, so when he is gone there will be no doubt in his mind that he has raised a strong yet gentle kind self sufficient woman. But while he is still here he wants to still be “the daddy”. And that’s what daddies do, they take care of their baby girls. I know he likes to do things for me but he never wanted to make me dependent on him. Just because I can do it doesn’t mean I have too. Not while daddy is around! I’m a daddy’s girl forever and always but because of him I am also a woman. Thank you daddy.

Pretty Little Liar.

I lied.

I said I loved you when I really didn’t.  I just wanted to make you do things that would cause you to ask for repentance. I laid it on thick. Told you what ever you wanted to hear, and you became my little trick.

I prayed meaningless prayers for you and submitted to your plan. And you did just what I wanted just like a good little puppet. You are far from a real man.

Now, I will move along and have my way in another  life. I found him. He’s sort of like you. Silly, you would give your last to anyone, even those who talk about you.

They take you for a joke and I admit I did too. All I had to do was lie and make you feel like a king and that little check you got, you always would bring.

You don’t think you were the only one did you? How could you think such a foolish thing. You’re a nobody who haphazardly got noticed by me. Oh, did you think I would leave quietly no, no, not me.

I will let everyone know the pitiful pawn you turned out to be. You will only be used until you understand your worth. But you never will because you crave too much attention.

It was fine when you were around, but I liked it when you were gone. I didn’t have to listen to you whine or hide my telephone. Are you wondering if I am talking about you? Why yes I am and him and him too.

You are disposable to me just like the trash you took out. I often wondered why you would never go to your own house. I had other people to see, those that gave me more than you. I know I was spreading myself thin, but I had to entertain them too.

I don’t know how to just be with one person. I want him, you and maybe even your brother too. It’s funny because the one I am with now thinks he’s the one, but he’s just like you, just plain dumb.

I will manipulate him also.

He’ll play right in to my little evil hands. For you, him and you too are nothing but little scared boys. Yes, you thought you were in control. Oh no, can’t you see? The one in control and always will be little pretty me.

Old post from May 2016, still relevant today

I haven’t published a blog since October last year. I just noticed that it was around the time when my granddaddy got really sick and things started going downhill after he had hip surgery. So many lives have been lost since then in this country and personally in my family. My family entered into a season of death like I have never seen before. As a matter of fact I am going to a funeral this Saturday. I came across the below post I wanted to post to my church group after one of my clients committed suicide. I think I did. I don’t remember.Something told me to go ahead and make it public. Remember this is from May 2016 and a lot of things happened to me personally after that. Maybe I will share one day.

Please read below. It’s unedited.

One of my clients committed suicide. It was sad to hear and sadder to even think what could have been so bad so troubling that you no longer wanted to live. It bothers me that the client had no hope. I can’t judge because I too have felt hopeless. Like that could possibly be the only way out. But prayer works. Not just mine but the people who pray for me. Yet in addition to prayer sometimes you just need to get those issues out or maybe get something out of balance in balance. I’ve told people over and over again if you have a tummy ache you got to the doctor to get better. It’s the same with the mind. Everything isn’t a demon. Sometimes you can have a certified sickness or some sort of mental trauma that you need to see someone about. It’s ok, if you need a pill take it. I myself said I would not take medication from a therapist etc, but that’s me and I pray I never have to. You or someone you know may be different.

If you are going thru something I can bet you are not alone. We all have trouble. Talk to someone. No it doesn’t have to be me but if you want I can listen. I won’t judge, I can’t. I may seem to so called have it together but trust me we’ve probably been thru a lot of the same things. I’m just writing this in case someone feels hopeless, I guess like my client did. When I felt hopeless I went to a counselor. At first I did it due to the urging of loved ones, but now I am glad I did. I should have much sooner. I don’t share that a lot because it is a stigma that can come along with having trouble in the mind. People like to label you “crazy” when all you need is a little help or to talk and feel like you aren’t burdening your family and friends. It will seem weird at first, paying someone to listen to you, but I’d rather pay up then to end up…well you know. Yes that may be an extreme case but it is very common. I do believe in the power of prayer, but I do also believe God put people on earth to help us get better whether it is physical or mental. Yes we can go to our leaders, but they may be going thru their own personal battles. Just remember doctors, therapists, counselors and support groups have been put in place for a reason.

The Other Woman

I was the one there when you cried at night and you could not explain what was wrong
Yet you love someone else now like they never did anything wrong
And don’t get me wrong I am happy for you, but it still hurts because of how much I love you.

And you too  in and out of my life in what felt like an instant.
I don’t even know if you are okay and you don’t care to tell me
I was just a pit stop in your journey
But I know you were happy when you were with me

I always thought of the day that you would leave me because I knew you would.
They never stay.
I invest all this time. The headaches the mental anguish. But I knew what I was signing up for. You made me feel like I was special that I meant something to you. The look in your eyes in the morning made me feel like we were the only two people in the world that mattered. But in time you will forget all about me. You will wake up to another. All the love, hugs and kisses and time. Oh the time…

As happy as you were when you would see me. As sad as you were when you are not with me. I still felt like just the other woman.

And now you too have left me. Now what am I to do. Do I give my heart, mind and time to another? Or do I just continue to live happily empty and painfully protected.

I decided I couldn’t stand the pain of being just the other woman again. I must carry on with my life and in time my heart will grow stronger. And one day when it’s time I can maybe try to think about letting another in.

I hope she treats you with kindness, patience, compassion and care. I wish I could see you, talk to you or just hold you in my arms again. Just for a moment…

Dedicated to S&S

My Brother’s Keeper

I usually don’t write about what is in the news, but I was saddened to learn about Toya Wright, author and reality tv star, losing both her brothers at the same time. She has since put them to rest and i pray that in time her and her family learn to cope with their loss. No, I don’t know her personally but my heart aches for her. Sure, she is famous, but she is still a person. We tend to dehumanize people for all sorts of reasons, one is for being in the limelight. I could not imagine for one second not having both my brothers in my life. That is why I cherish them the way I do. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t give do or say for them. They love me unconditionally and are two of my best friends. Whenever I am feeling down or ungrateful I often think of them. Both my brothers were almost killed in violent ways. One, a terrible car crash in which the coroner was called out because there was no way anyone thought there was a survivor. There was. My other brother was attacked by some nut, stabbed several times and left for dead. But for the grace of God I didn’t have to feel what Mrs. Wright may be feeling. I didn’t have to pick out pictures for an obituary, sit and act dignified in a church when all I would want to do is scream and yell and ask God why? I still have my brothers. I am sure Mrs. Wright loved her brothers with all her heart. She was with them a lot and mentioned them all the time. Just from what I have seen they had a genuine loving sibling relationship. Perfect? Probably not. No one is, but the bible says in 1 John 4:20, If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. Regardless of what I have done or what my brothers have done I know they still love me and I love them.  Our siblings may do things you don’t approve of and vice versa, but we still have to love each other. I knew from an early age not to judge my brothers for all their actions as they didn’t judge me for mine and I can be a bit of a handful sometimes. We loved each other and we stuck together. Yeah we had little fights like brothers and sisters do, maybe over the remote or who at the last cookie, but anytime there was on tiny inkling of a major divide our parents and/or the other sibling nipped that in the bud! I am so grateful for how my parents made us stick together. It helped us grow into the siblings we are today. We treat each other with respect, kindness and honor. I tell my “bubbies” often how much I love them and I show them even the more. They have always gone above and beyond for me and still do. I know they love me and will always protect me. I never want to take for granted that they will always be around. There will never be a divide among us as I am my brothers keeper.

Until Death Do Us Part: Happy Anniversary

One summer day a man decided he could make a woman’s life better. Although it would not always be sunshine he figured he was strong enough to hold her hand and lead her in the darkness. He thought he may not have much now, but he would so his best to provide for her. He would keep her safe. Safe. He would love her when her body changed, when her teeth began to shift, when her hair began to gray. He would love her when she fell ill and could not get out of bed. He would love her forever. He knew what he wanted. He wanted her. He wanted to respect, cherish, uplift and to make her happy. He not only loved her, he valued her. He could not promise she would have all of the finest clothes, shoes and country club memberships but he could promise to love her unconditionally. This woman wasn’t perfect. But she was beautiful, not just physically, but her mind was beautiful. She was smart, caring and kind. No, he wasn’t perfect either, but I think she saw the God in him. She saw past all of his inadequacies and not so good habits. She saw his heart. He asked and she said yes. She said yes I will be your wife. She said yes to going in blind not knowing what lie ahead. Yes to broken promises, yes to pain, yes to times without money, yes to things she would never be able to share with anyone. Yes to sacrifice. But then again she also said to dependability, consistency and passion. Yes to loyalty and sincerity. Yes to complete open honesty. Yes to being the most important person in his life second only to the Heavenly Father. Yes to being put on a pedestal no one could ever take her off of. Yes to prayer when things got to be too much to deal with. Yes to arguments but yes to “I’m sorry”. She said yes to cooking his favorite meals, yes to rubbing his back after a hard day. Yes to washing his dirty, sweaty, stained clothes as he slept. Yes to continually lifting him up in prayer even when she didn’t feel like it. Yes to bearing, rearing and caring for his future children. Even when he made her worry she still said yes. Even when he disappointed her she still said yes. She said yes to her best friend, her closest confidant. She said yes to love. If her soul ever was to be tied, his soul was the one she needed to be tied too. She said yes. I’m so glad she did. Had she not said yes I may not be here to say yes to that man who someday will propel my life to greater things I never dreamed of. Had she not said yes, I may not have known how I was supposed to be loved. Even though I act like I don’t know sometimes. Had she not said yes, I would never know how to cherish another person so much that I know when something is wrong just by the way he is sitting. I’m so thankful she said yes. She said yes and one day I will say yes too. Because of them, I to desire to marry my best friend. To have that safety, that love, that bond with my husband. I desire to care for another human being above myself. I desire to be selfless. On that summer day my daddy asked my mommy to marry him and all his imperfections. He asked her to accept all his good and all his bad as he would accept hers. Sometimes love really is all you need. If you have true, deep, genuine, unconditional love everything else falls into place.
What God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9 NIV)
Happy Anniversary Mommy and Daddy. 41 Years. To be continued…