The morning of November 1st I was lying in bed and an idea came back to me that I thought about a while ago. Funny how things keep coming around until you decide to proceed with them. I would often think some women, young and old are not able to do well financially, simply because they just don’t know any better. Maybe no one showed them. Maybe they need additional help. Maybe they need you, to give them an extra push to begin to care and pay attention to their finances. That’s when I noticed that I am surrounded by women handling their business; be it financial, following their dreams, taking care of their children and maybe husbands. These ladies are living life to the fullest and still maintaining a sensible lifestyle. I felt like the knowledge these women possess would be helpful if it were just given to the right person. We often see society reducing women to gold digging thots, dependent on someone else for financial security. Because of all the hate and “shade” we get as women, we need to assist each other and lift each other up. It’s enough money, men and Monolos out there for all of us! So, I started a list of chicks that I thought I could put a girly squeal spotlight on to help some of us who really want to see more, do more and have more out of life, but may not know where to start. If you have never seen $5,000, you don’t think its attainable. If you have never see anyone travel outside of their city, you may not think it’s worth doing. Wealth isn’t only about money to me. It’s a way of life. Wealth is usually quantified by how many “riches” you have. In what I like to call my Wealthy Women Alliance, we believe our riches lie in being financially independent/intelligent, good health, life balance and spirituality. WWA is a compilation of knowledge I obtain from women willing to share their struggles and successes in order to make women better as a whole. We can learn so much from each other if we are willing to listen. In the coming weeks I will be calling on family, friends and associates to share about your businesses, life experiences, money woes and victories! Please consider it an honor. Something in you has been a positive influence to me and so many others you don’t even know are watching you! Who will I be girly squealing about next????
If I never feel sadness I would probably take my happiness for granted.
Happiness can turn to sadness in an instant. In the same breath you could be laughing so hard there are tears, and with one sentence those tears are tears of sadness. The good thing is that another happy time will come, at some point. Once I had the faith to know that happiness will find its way back to me then and only then I could accept situations that made me sad. Although it sounds cliche’ I came to a point where I understood that I had to give thanks in all things because God makes no mistakes. I often have to tell myself this which has happened, this what has caused me so much pain, this which has left an imprint on my soul, this which has changed my life, this which has hurt me, this is for the best. No matter how much my heart hurts from a situation I told myself that it is imperative that I find something to be thankful for. Though it sometimes takes a while, well a long time, I had to in order to make sense of things.
Jonas, Little, Cuz, when I first found out that you went to be with the Father I felt a sudden sense of emptiness, hurt and worry not only for me, but for your family and for one of your best friend’s, my brother. As a young girl I watched you form a bond with my brother one that would span your lifetime. I watched the two of you hang out, wreak havoc, but not the kind that would land you in jail, the kind that young boys get into. You blended with my family and he with yours as if you two had the same mother and father. Friendship, true friendship is a beautiful thing. I feel honored to have witnessed a beautiful friendship. From walking around Pinnacle Place during the summer until nightfall, from waking me up on Saturday mornings when the whole crew was in my backyard. Two friends became brothers. I watched you two snap pics before you picked up your prom dates, while you stood “bowlegged” because you said when you are fly you have to stand a little bowlegged. From you saying “lil sis” you can’t go with the big boys right now and that I needed to stay at home. And asking me if I “had one for you”. I never met some one who smiled all the time. I mean all the time. You always had a funny story, a witty comeback and a comforting remark. I loved when you were at the house because I knew I would be laughing for the rest of the night. As we grew up, the bond between you and my brother flourished through high school, college to adult hood. I remember the cruise we took maybe 2 or 3 summers ago, when you could not stop laughing about how many pancakes Brian ate. That was fun. But now you are gone. I stared while you lay there so peaceful never thinking or preparing myself to see a childhood friend that way. I was plagued with happy thoughts and rampant sadness. I sat, simultaneously thanking God for you being at peace with Him and being angry with God for taking you away. When the casket was closing I felt as if an elephant was on my chest. My hands trembled my legs twitched. I breathed deeply and didn’t want to be hugged at the time because if I did I would have crumbled. When it was time to leave, I stepped in the isle and grabbed my brother’s hand. Not sure if I was comforting him or if I needed him to comfort me. I know that he to selfishly wishes that you were still here to come to his wedding, to see his first child born, which I am sure would have been your god daughter, to see him be the man you played a role in him becoming. The friend that you were to my brother makes my heart ache for him and smile at the same time. You meant so much to all of us. I know one day this pain will dwindle and he—we will be able to go on with our lives but never forgetting how you made us feel when you were on earth with us. We will feel happiness again. We must. They say heaven is paradise, I imagine it is, especially with a special person like you there. I love you my friend, my brother. Until we meet again…
She just wants to stay black and be happy,
not condemned if her hair is a little nappy,
and then if she straightens it, you still judge,
but off her pedestal she will not budge.
She doesn’t want to be looked at funny when she laughs so hard she has to snort,
Not shunned when you think her skirt is a little too short.
She has a round face, big thighs and a little tummy,
and pretty little lips just like her mommy.
Her soul is so sweet it drips nectar inside,
And no longer does she care to hide.
Regardless of what you say,
she thinks she’s cute and for that there are a few to blame.
One her mother, two her father, whom conceived her in love
and three the heavenly father who shined from above, to make,
the perfectly imperfect mix of DNA,
made a person so full of flaws but she makes them go MIA.
When you look at her you wouldn’t even know that shes a little insecure
and not so pure —– like you thought.
She walks gracefully and at 5 feet,
she stands tall as an evergreen tree.
She’s purposeful, kind, loving and smart.
The way God created her, mimics a piece of priceless art.
Yet she remains humble, caring and meek,
but watch out she can have a little mean streak! Only when it’s needed.
She will always try to be the best she can be.
She is me.
Sometimes I dream of packing up and moving to New York City,
to get lost in the hustle and bustle and see street art.
To play in the concrete jungle with the animals.
To stand in the city that never sleeps
silently,it’s too loud to even make a peep.
To be insignificant
But I can’t.
I’m afraid of what they may say.
Kinda like when you stay in the closet and won’t admit you’re gay,
For fear of repercussion
you never have the discussion.
You live a phoney life with your beard, excuse me, your wife
You have a nice house 2.1 kids and a dog, but still your head remains in a fog…
So anyway, back to me
So I sit and live a life where I constantly feel like I have already died inside,
If I don’t see New York soon I may cry,
Some wonder why,
Why can’t you just work pay your bills and die?
Because that’s not what I was made for!
So this score,
I must settle between what my mind says and what is happening in front of my eyes.
I’ve packed my bags and I am never looking back.
If you didn’t care when I was here you shouldn’t care when I am gone.
I’m leaving for New York tomorrow,
Like they say by the time you read this I’ll be gone.
What will they say? Who cares.
It’s that time of year again! That time we honor the women who have kissed our boo boos, clean our noses and gave us life. We take mom out to dinner and maybe give her a card or flower, but do we ever stop to think what a mother really is? She is more than the pretty lady who fixed your dinner or tucked you into bed. She is a an unconditional heart always there to support you even when you didn’t make the right decision. She is the woman who may have worked outside of the home so you could have somewhere to live somewhere to be safe somewhere to learn create and grow as an individual. Being with mom was safe. She put your weird drawings on the refrigerator and told you you could be anything you wanted. Some of us have become singers, doctor’s, teachers, painters, CEOs and lawyers and it was all because that little lady you call every now and again believed in you when no one else did.
Happy Mother’s Day Monday
Most days I sit here in a daze,
Secretly wishing it would all go up in a blaze,
So then, I could finally be free,
Free to totally be me.
Who am I you ask?
I’m a quirky random individual full of a task,
that I have yet to master,
because I’m not quite sure what it is.
I know that its something major, huge, dare I say supreme?
Something that has to be done, something that has to come forth on this earth in this time,
but its too much bull (bleep) cluttering my mind.
So now I am unable to find that one thing that I am made for.
I do know I am a person full of creativity, kinda like when you have had too much wine and there is no bathroom in sight so your bladder feels confined, you better hold it.
Don’t let it go, people may see, your pants full of creative pee.
So I sit stuck in a glass box;
a glass box which I wish I could say was already broken.
Then I think is that really true?
Do I want to really escape? Do you?
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure I really want too.
It’s safe here in my little glass box
So I guess for the time being I’ll stay.
Stay here everyday,
I will work like an ox,
Aimlessly filing, stapling, hole punching and what not.
Early one morning I heard a noise.
I walked past my couch and wondered what it could be.
I looked up and out into my back yard and saw a little red bird looking back at me.
It was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in a while.
Tiny little red bird with a tiny little beak.
In hopes that I could make this scene last a little longer, I turned to grab my phone.
And when I spun back around, my little red friend was gone.
I really wanted to enjoy its beauty just a little longer.
It seems that beautiful things don’t come along as often as they ought too.
And here I go trying to make it last longer than I needed too.
Tried to capture it instead of enjoying the moment like I should do.
Love, what are you so afraid of?
All I want to do is take a hold of you.
I show you I care and that I will always be there,
I just don’t know what else to do.
You always seem to come around at the most inopportune times,
times when I have forgotten all about you.
Then I have to rearrange my life and sometimes get involved in a lot of strife,
just to fit you in, and then…
then you leave again.
Love,what are you so afraid of?
I wonder why you just won’t take a hold of me.
I guess, love, me and you, just aren’t meant to be.
There are times in life where you need to know the truth. Unfortunately, I think it’s time for a little public service announcement. This is going to hurt a few of you, but because the girly loves you I must tell you. So prepare yourself. It may change the way you look at everything. I hope you understand I must do this. Here goes…30 IS NOT THE NEW 20. Wait don’t pass out. I know, I know you thought you would be able to wear those short shorts and stay up late and still look refreshed because somehow turning 30 meant you were 20 in your head, but you’re really 30 and oh my goodness you look a mess. I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you but you need to take yourself to bed; don’t you have to work in the morning? Yes guys and gals you have hit the mark of the big 3-0 (and beyond). I know you think by some stretch of the imagination you can go back in time and make life different by giving yourself 10 extra years. We hear it every day. They say, “ Yes, girl, you look good for 30, you know 30 is the new 20?” And to our poor guys, “Yeah fellas, 30 ain’t nothing, lets hit these streets, don’t you know it’s the new 20?” They have gone as far as…wait who is “they”? Ever notice people say that when they never heard a specific person say something? I digress. “They” have gone as far as say 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30 and so on. Makes me wonder; is death is the new 80?
Why do we want to be something we aren’t? Listen 30-somethings, you must band together and unite before it’s too late! We have lived and learned thru those 20 somethings and made all the mistakes some 20 somethings make. Let’s “turn down”. For what, you say? Because you’re older. Yep, I said it. Chill mode time has come. Why go back and act like a 20 year old when you know with your grown self that you need to pull yourself up by the boot straps and be an adult?
Just to help soften the blow, I have compiled a list of 5 not so scientific reasons to prove to you that 30 is not the new 20 and you are actually 30 years old, say it with me “thiiiirty”. Good job. Just except it and be happy.
#1 You can’t eat fries at 2 am anymore without heartburn or it sticking to your thighs the next morning.
#2 You start referring to rude 20 somethings as young punks.
#3 You start to think it’s not cute anymore to live off mommy and daddy’s money.
#4 When someone says “yes mam/sir” you actually appreciate it.
#5 It’s Friday at 9:30 pm and you are in your jammies (pajamas) and actually nodding off.
Simply stated 30 is not the new 20. It’s ok, everyone will have to deal with it someday. So embrace your 30’s don’t act as if it is a curse to get older. Be thankful you have had that many years on earth. Love your tiny laugh lines, it means you have seen a lot of happy days. Love that strand of grey hair you have, it makes you look distinguished. Love the little stubborn pudge you can’t seem to work off no matter how many crunches you do, it means you’re blessed to have food everyday… or you’re still eating fries at 2 am. 🙂
No 20 somethings were harmed in the making of this post 🙂