All I need you to understand is that I have a past I am not so proud of. That I will make mistakes and I cry …a lot. Even when I’m happy. Hopefully you will see more happy tears than sad, tired, jealous painful ones. Hopefully I am on the right path to becoming what you have always wanted, but mostly what you need. I will not expect you to read my mind, most of the time. If I have an issue with something you did, I’ll tell you. I will respect your opinion and hope you will respect mine too.
Hopefully you will be able to accept the parts of me that aren’t so pretty. Those are the ones you may not find out about until we’re about a year in. Not just physical flaws but those character flaws. For example like how I can be a little stubborn and shut down when I am angry. Or sometimes when anxiety kicks in and I can’t really articulate what’s wrong. When I complain, it will only be for a moment and most likely due to me just seeking your attention. When I yell it will be because I am really passionate about the point I am trying to explain . When I am wrong and sometimes even when I am right, I will look into your eyes and apologize. We will kiss and makeup.
I hate arguing, that won’t happen often.
When you come home I hope you are happy to see me and the little one, ones or one two and three. I hope I can make your favorite meal, I promise to give it a shot. I’ll try to make our meals balanced with somewhat of the correct amount of protein and vegetables, but I won’t forget dessert if that’s what you want. If you want to, we can go for a little family walk after dinner. I’ll ask you to have monthly maybe even weekly finance meetings with me. Then we’ll meet about the kids and I won’t forget about us. Kids won’t consume us. I’ll be the best mommy I can if that’s in Gods plan but I will try not to forget to be a wife. I’m not afraid of the word submit as long as you give me something to submit to.
I’ll try to remember that you like to be complimented and that you like to be catered to as well.
Until God aligns our paths perfectly King just be. Be yourself. Work towards your goals. Don’t try to impress anyone with anything. Let everything you do reflect your truest highest form of you. One day we’ll meet. Love, your Queen.
If I remember correctly I wrote this before I started dating my now husband. We will celebrate our first wedding anniversary October 30th. He’s truly a King in my eyes. Writing to my future husband made me take a look at myself and realize it would take a special person to love and accept all of me. I also had to be willing to love and accept another persons so called imperfections because I had so many of my own.
I hope that whoever is reading this is currently or will soon experience true love and total acceptance. It’s truly a beautiful blessing.
One summer day a man decided he could make a woman’s life better. Although it would not always be sunshine he figured he was strong enough to hold her hand and lead her in the darkness. He thought he may not have much now, but he would so his best to provide for her. He would keep her safe. Safe. He would love her when her body changed, when her teeth began to shift, when her hair began to gray. He would love her when she fell ill and could not get out of bed. He would love her forever. He knew what he wanted. He wanted her. He wanted to respect, cherish, uplift and to make her happy. He not only loved her, he valued her. He could not promise she would have all of the finest clothes, shoes and country club memberships but he could promise to love her unconditionally. This woman wasn’t perfect. But she was beautiful, not just physically, but her mind was beautiful. She was smart, caring and kind. No, he wasn’t perfect either, but I think she saw the God in him. She saw past all of his inadequacies and not so good habits. She saw his heart. He asked and she said yes. She said yes I will be your wife. She said yes to going in blind not knowing what lie ahead. Yes to broken promises, yes to pain, yes to times without money, yes to things she would never be able to share with anyone. Yes to sacrifice. But then again she also said to dependability, consistency and passion. Yes to loyalty and sincerity. Yes to complete open honesty. Yes to being the most important person in his life second only to the Heavenly Father. Yes to being put on a pedestal no one could ever take her off of. Yes to prayer when things got to be too much to deal with. Yes to arguments but yes to “I’m sorry”. She said yes to cooking his favorite meals, yes to rubbing his back after a hard day. Yes to washing his dirty, sweaty, stained clothes as he slept. Yes to continually lifting him up in prayer even when she didn’t feel like it. Yes to bearing, rearing and caring for his future children. Even when he made her worry she still said yes. Even when he disappointed her she still said yes. She said yes to her best friend, her closest confidant. She said yes to love. If her soul ever was to be tied, his soul was the one she needed to be tied too. She said yes. I’m so glad she did. Had she not said yes I may not be here to say yes to that man who someday will propel my life to greater things I never dreamed of. Had she not said yes, I may not have known how I was supposed to be loved. Even though I act like I don’t know sometimes. Had she not said yes, I would never know how to cherish another person so much that I know when something is wrong just by the way he is sitting. I’m so thankful she said yes. She said yes and one day I will say yes too. Because of them, I to desire to marry my best friend. To have that safety, that love, that bond with my husband. I desire to care for another human being above myself. I desire to be selfless. On that summer day my daddy asked my mommy to marry him and all his imperfections. He asked her to accept all his good and all his bad as he would accept hers. Sometimes love really is all you need. If you have true, deep, genuine, unconditional love everything else falls into place.
What God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9 NIV)
Happy Anniversary Mommy and Daddy. 41 Years. To be continued…