I was the one there when you cried at night and you could not explain what was wrong
Yet you love someone else now like they never did anything wrong
And don’t get me wrong I am happy for you, but it still hurts because of how much I love you.
And you too in and out of my life in what felt like an instant.
I don’t even know if you are okay and you don’t care to tell me
I was just a pit stop in your journey
But I know you were happy when you were with me
I always thought of the day that you would leave me because I knew you would.
They never stay.
I invest all this time. The headaches the mental anguish. But I knew what I was signing up for. You made me feel like I was special that I meant something to you. The look in your eyes in the morning made me feel like we were the only two people in the world that mattered. But in time you will forget all about me. You will wake up to another. All the love, hugs and kisses and time. Oh the time…
As happy as you were when you would see me. As sad as you were when you are not with me. I still felt like just the other woman.
And now you too have left me. Now what am I to do. Do I give my heart, mind and time to another? Or do I just continue to live happily empty and painfully protected.
I decided I couldn’t stand the pain of being just the other woman again. I must carry on with my life and in time my heart will grow stronger. And one day when it’s time I can maybe try to think about letting another in.
I hope she treats you with kindness, patience, compassion and care. I wish I could see you, talk to you or just hold you in my arms again. Just for a moment…
Dedicated to S&S
One summer day a man decided he could make a woman’s life better. Although it would not always be sunshine he figured he was strong enough to hold her hand and lead her in the darkness. He thought he may not have much now, but he would so his best to provide for her. He would keep her safe. Safe. He would love her when her body changed, when her teeth began to shift, when her hair began to gray. He would love her when she fell ill and could not get out of bed. He would love her forever. He knew what he wanted. He wanted her. He wanted to respect, cherish, uplift and to make her happy. He not only loved her, he valued her. He could not promise she would have all of the finest clothes, shoes and country club memberships but he could promise to love her unconditionally. This woman wasn’t perfect. But she was beautiful, not just physically, but her mind was beautiful. She was smart, caring and kind. No, he wasn’t perfect either, but I think she saw the God in him. She saw past all of his inadequacies and not so good habits. She saw his heart. He asked and she said yes. She said yes I will be your wife. She said yes to going in blind not knowing what lie ahead. Yes to broken promises, yes to pain, yes to times without money, yes to things she would never be able to share with anyone. Yes to sacrifice. But then again she also said to dependability, consistency and passion. Yes to loyalty and sincerity. Yes to complete open honesty. Yes to being the most important person in his life second only to the Heavenly Father. Yes to being put on a pedestal no one could ever take her off of. Yes to prayer when things got to be too much to deal with. Yes to arguments but yes to “I’m sorry”. She said yes to cooking his favorite meals, yes to rubbing his back after a hard day. Yes to washing his dirty, sweaty, stained clothes as he slept. Yes to continually lifting him up in prayer even when she didn’t feel like it. Yes to bearing, rearing and caring for his future children. Even when he made her worry she still said yes. Even when he disappointed her she still said yes. She said yes to her best friend, her closest confidant. She said yes to love. If her soul ever was to be tied, his soul was the one she needed to be tied too. She said yes. I’m so glad she did. Had she not said yes I may not be here to say yes to that man who someday will propel my life to greater things I never dreamed of. Had she not said yes, I may not have known how I was supposed to be loved. Even though I act like I don’t know sometimes. Had she not said yes, I would never know how to cherish another person so much that I know when something is wrong just by the way he is sitting. I’m so thankful she said yes. She said yes and one day I will say yes too. Because of them, I to desire to marry my best friend. To have that safety, that love, that bond with my husband. I desire to care for another human being above myself. I desire to be selfless. On that summer day my daddy asked my mommy to marry him and all his imperfections. He asked her to accept all his good and all his bad as he would accept hers. Sometimes love really is all you need. If you have true, deep, genuine, unconditional love everything else falls into place.
What God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9 NIV)
Happy Anniversary Mommy and Daddy. 41 Years. To be continued…