Mommy Dearest

I like to think I was a decent child. I didn’t cause too many problems when I was younger. BUT and this is a big BUT, as I aged a bit, I have gotten myself into some situations that may not have made my “mommy dearest” too proud at the time. I hear mothers speak about their children like they are little princes and princesses and can do absolutely no wrong. Don’t get me wrong that is how it should be and right now they probably are sweet little people. On the other hand, I have been told there are a lot of mothers who sometimes put down other little kids because they don’t measure up to their precious ones. Can you believe these people actually exist? I have to admit I know I have said something in the past about a child’s behavior without taking into account factors that are beyond the child’s control. Nowadays, I try to curb my tongue, especially since I am not a mother yet. I had to evaluate myself and come to the conclusion that it is not very wise to put other kids down especially when I had no idea what these children may be dealing with, or how mine will turn out. Now don’t get me wrong I know we are going to give a side eye or two when we see a tantrum going on or offer “something” to “get that kid together”. I’m talking about more serious situations that have a deeper cause than a child being a spoiled brat.

There may be a reason why this preteen is sending pictures to your son of places that should remain covered until she gets into the shower. Do you know she was molested by her older cousin’s friend for years and that is the only way she knows how to get attention? Oh yeah, and we haven’t discussed what your little sweet boy sent in a text to her. Ok, ok before you start yelling at the screen: In no way do I condone this activity or think it should go unpunished, but instead of telling everyone at the PTA meeting maybe you should cover her in prayer. Or at least try to speak to her parents privately about the situation.

The little girl on your daughter’s soccer team jersey looks a little dingy. She’s a happy little girl who wants to play soccer with her friends. Her reality is that her father kicked her mom out 2 weeks ago and cleaned out her bank account. They are now penniless and living with the grandmother who can barely take care of herself. Forget paying to wash clothes they need to eat. Why not wash it in the sink you say? Water’s off this week.

The little 16 year old down the street is fighting again. Before you holler “ghetto girl” you should know that her parents have not been home for three days, again, and someone just tried to take her little sister’s lunch. There is no more food in the house.

You can do the best you can to raise your sweet little girl along with her biological father whom you are married too and living with in your perfect little 3 bedroom house. Be wise mam’, know that she will grow up. I’m not saying she will turn into a tramp but be careful what you speak about other little girls or boys for that matter. the bible says, “train up a child…” and you know the rest. And I believe in that. Although I didn’t “depart from it” I sure took a little break from time to time. Also, be careful of saying what you will and will not tolerate. You never know what you will do until you are put in a situation. My mother was the perfect example of what a woman should be and I have never had “daddy issues” as my father was always in my life. But there are some things; a few people may be able to attest to, that I did that wasn’t so sweet. At times I was not conducting myself like a lady. Shucks sometimes now I can get out of pocket.

Although I do not have children, I do have a soft spot for kids and I know how I was, and how I turned out was only by the grace of God and being blessed with a mother and father who weren’t critical of others. So, the next time you judge, oh yes there will be a next time, be sure to extend the same grace and mercy you would want someone to extend to your child. You never know when you will be on the other side of the bars. you never know when you will have to pick your child up from a “drunken stupor”. You never know when you will have to hold your child’s hand in the clinic. You never know when you will have to save your child from embarrassment or stigma, so in the meantime focus on saving someone else’s.

Deep in the back of the closet everyone has at least one wire hanger.

Matthew 7 (1-3)

Bosom Buddies

Fall 1998, Georgia Southern University Winburn Hall. As time goes on the specifics get a little hazy, but if I don’t remember anything else I remember the pink blow up chair. When she came in seems like no one else sat there it was her spot. She was the oldest and the “mama” of the group so we respected her as such. She would sometimes come in on a Saturday climb up to the cabinet to get a snack and go back to bed. And there was never a need to knock. She was known around campus as the girl with the big booty and I became known as “you know her short friend with the short haircut, yeah the bow legged one” We along with the rest of the cavalry, yes we named our little circle, were inseparable. She protected me as a mother would protect a child and in turn I loved her unconditionally as only a child could. She could do no wrong in my eyes. I was amazed at her intelligence, the way she wrote papers at 2 am while the rest of us were laughing, watching TV and jumping around on those twin size beds. She was one of the smartest women I knew, but in turn the most humble you could ever imagine. She was liked by all well except that girl who fell down the steps. But even she had to admit my friend was a force to be reckoned with. Through mean teachers, good and bad grades, kick doors, study groups, hunch punch, Sunday dinners, boyfriends, broken hearts family emergencies and those situations that the cavalry will never ever speak of, NEVER, she was always there for me. Before I knew it, I was graduating college and again she was in my corner teary eyed holding the video camera screaming my praises. She was so proud. After all we had lived thru some of the best and worst times of our lives, so we thought. So, years later when she called me as I drove thru Sandhills, a shopping center near my home, I had to stop and sit at the stop sign as she began to tell me she had something that felt like golf balls in her breast. She had braids at the time and immediately shaved them off. No, she didn’t know if she had cancer, but in true form she did things on her terms. So if it was cancer she would not let the treatment take her hair, she took it herself. Then the day came. That day I remember more vividly than I want. Was sitting at my desk working then she crossed my mind. I texted her because I knew it should be about time for her to be done with her doctor’s appointment. She texted me back. And it was what I prayed against. The one thing I never wanted to hear about someone I loved again. She had breast cancer. But she had just crossed over into the 30’s the time when you live the good life because you learned from all the mistakes you made in your 20′ right?? How could this have happened? You see, I lost my grandmother to cancer as a teenager and it hurt me to my core. Now, my friend, my confidant, my protector was sick and there was nothing I could do about it. I jumped up from my desk and quickly ran into a conference room before anyone could see the tears pour from my eyes. I could barely breathe.
The day had come for my friend to have her breast removed another brave decision she made. My friend had a very young daughter at the time; she did not want to run the risk of the cancer coming back. Seems to me she already knew that she would beat it then. In order for it to come back it would have to be gone first. She had claimed her victory and didn’t even know it. The “little sis” and I went to be by her side, with the “nephew” in tow. I ended up staying the night in the hospital, I just couldn’t leave her. It was like we were in Winburn Hall again. But then as I looked at her, the IV’s, and all the flashing lights on those monitors and I quickly realized, this is real. I had to hold back my tears. I would not break down in front of the very person who had always been so strong for me. As I reached down to pick up the wash cloth she dropped while bathing she said, “nope I got it” and proceeded to pick it up with her toes! At that moment I knew my friend would definitely make it. One simple gesture that made us laugh and forget the bandages that were in the place where her breast used to be. That night we laughed and laughed and laughed. I have no idea when we eventually drifted off to sleep.
It’s 2013 now and my friend has 3 beautiful girls. She is as bold, intelligent, daring, humble, loving and strong as ever. She is my hero. She is one of my best friends, more of a sister. My friend, my sister, my Donna is cancer free.
To God be the Glory 🙂

This post is dedicated to my friend LaDonna Peeples breast cancer survivor!

To Donna: Donna I love you more than words can say. Over the years, over the miles our hearts have stayed connected because we have built a bond that can not be broken. God put you in my life to show me how to have faith when you have no control over the situation. Because of you I still believe in miracles. You are my miracle. Love you always and forever.

Beaten and Snatched?!?!

I just got beat.
Oh my gosh, have you called the police already? 
Huh? No. I got beat by the girl at the make up counter.
Whaaaa? Why is the girl at the make up counter beating you.
Doesn’t my face look fabulous? I am beat and oh ain’t I snatched.
Wait honey you  got beat and snatched and you are happy about it?Ok, I may get a few eye rolls on this one, but you’ll still love me. Lately this “slang” stuff is getting way out of hand. And I know you are saying oh it’s not that serious, it’s just slang and lighten up. Trust me, I like a good slang word or phrase just like the next person. For example, everyones favorite, “turn up!!”, “giving me life”, “you tried it” or “yaaaaassssss hunty”. They are all hilarious and can instantly conjure up a smile. BUT our words have power and I don’t think many people realize that. Ladies listen to how this sounds BEAT and SNATCHED. Say it to yourself BEAT AND SNATCHED. BEAT AND SNATCHED.  BEAT AND SNATCHED. What picture comes up in your head when you hear those words? Nothing? Well, all I can see is a crying woman running for the door, fleeing her abuser, grabbing the door knob and him grabbing her arm and snatching her back to continue to “beat her to the gods”. That’s another one that we need to stop saying.  Who wants to refer to themselves as being beaten as an synonym for your face being full of beautiful make up and having a nice shape? Do you know that, according to The State (South Carolina’s State Newspaper), South Carolina is rated second worst in the nation in women killed by men. That’s a lot of beating and snatching right? The fact that women actually have to cover their bruises with make up and hide behind fake smiles after they have been “beaten and snatched” is more of a reason to bury those terms. In the bible … Wait I know someone is saying, “Is she really about to throw a scripture on us?” Yaaaaassssss hunty, I am because the Girly loves God ;). Anywho, the bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue. Always choose to speak life. There will be a wake for the slang term “beat and snatched” at 5pm. After that they will be buried in the slang term cemetary on Never Use Again Road, no repass will follow.

Giiiirl he is single!

Is it me or is it every time a single man enters the building everyone looks at you. He can have on a I am a jerk t-shirt, one eye, a limp, 5 buck teeth and because he does not have on a ring or the infamous ring tan line (ladies learn to look for it) everyone thinks it’s a sure winner for you. Nevermind the rope and axe in the back seat of his 1978 Chevette. Then here it comes, “hey you’re single stop being so picky.” Soooo I’m just supposed to run off with the axe murderer huh and have little axe murderer babies. Ok, I know that is an extreme example, but just because he is single does not mean he is for me. God forbid I speak to a single young man and have some friendly words y’all marrying me off. Sometimes the guy isn’t even cute! Some may say giiiiiirl he’s single, no kids and he owns his own land scape business. Yeah right. He’s single tonight because his girlfriend is out-of-town, no kids because the ‘baby mama” still has about 2 months to go and oh that lawn care business is just a lawnmower and a weed whacker. Sorry, but in case you didn’t know some single people have standards. And we are ok waiting for the person that is for us. We have learned to find fun in non couple activities and refuse to sacrifice our happiness to be a part of the married people club. Now don’t get me wrong this may not happen to me much, but I am sure my single ladies have been put in this situation more than they would care to admit. So I have to put it out there. If you really care how about us and our dating life introduce us to the real man you trying to save for your cousin. You know she crazy anyway. Disclaimer: No married people were harmed during the making of this post 🙂

Vrooooom Screeech!

So what is it with car dealerships? They scream and holler about clearance event this and clearence event that and then jack the prices up to make it seem like you are getting a deal. When I see clearance or red tag I’m looking for a deal. Department stores don’t jack the price up of my favorite Gianni Bini shoes and then try to sell them to me. And that’s just the reason why I enjoy shoe shopping more than car shopping. Car shopping makes me feel strange. I feel like I am being taken advantage of before I even go inside the sales center. And don’t you love when they say oh let me get my manager. Geez if I ran to get my boss everytime someone asked a question I wouldn’t have a job! I mean what is he? You can’t ever see him from the sales floor. Kinda like the Wizard of Oz or something; who is this manager person and why do they call each and every shot. And I wish someone would hide the sales board I seeeeee youuuuu little sales board. Look I know they are in the business of making money but come on the sleezy tactics and the bait and switch is uncalled for. If a person is going to buy a car they are going to buy a car. No need to try and swindle them, just be straight up. I suggest we all go prepared. Read up on what you want and know what questions to ask. No car salesperson was hurt in the making of this post 🙂

Family, Friends, Fashion, Faith and a little Food lets get bloggin’!

Hello world! I’m here *girly squeal*!!! I have tried this blogging thing before and didn’t get past making a page but this time with you’re support I am going to stick with it. We have lots to talk about! So check back daily, hourly or who knows by the minute even! You never know what I will be girly squealing about. You can also follow me on facebook search Kimberly Smith, Twitter and instagram @kimijetset. I look forward to sharing with each and every one of you!